If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
