someone owes me an orgasm
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
