News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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