I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
