Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
