You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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