It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
