I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
