i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
