all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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