I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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