He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
