Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
