why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
