I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
