I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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