It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
