I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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