she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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