everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
bring money and cleavage
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
