i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
