Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
