Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
