We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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