And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Found the puke drawer
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
