Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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