I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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