he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
