good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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