trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
