i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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