you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I have post one night stand depression
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