It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
