I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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