I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
