His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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