Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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