i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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