he was CRYING into my vagina
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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