Having a random hookup so left but love u
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
