I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
