i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
