i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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