Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
