Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
