OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
