Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
