Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
