So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
