bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
