Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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