The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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